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God
God, sometimes known as Lucius Fox, was the creator of all. He has run earth like an expert store clerk since the beginning of time. In all this time, however, life has become dull for Him. So, He continually does things to stir up the pot. His main identity is that of Lucius Fox, the tailor and weapons dealer to the Caped Crusader. He made the Bateman's arsenal with disguised holy items, and came out with some of the finest items of all time. And somewhere along the way, He manages too still rule all universes. He also created the League of Assassins, a group of assasins lead by God under the name Sloan. From Gotham City to the elite assassins of Japan, over the universe to New York City and at your local Arbees, God is on the streets ready to mess with your life. But firstly and foremost, He has to do the one thing that completes His life: help the Batman. League of Assassins In the first fit of boredom, God had had since he killed off the Dinosaurs, God decided He would start a group that believed themselves to be doing the will of god and taking out selected people in His name, all secretly. This League of Assassins, as it would called, first job was to kill Julius Ceaser, who had grown to annoy Him when he posed as Casca out of boredom. Anybody God either didn't like or thought was evil was killed. Oddly, J.F.K. was killed by God's assassins. Maybe He is a Federalist. Messing with our feeble minds God loves you. Yes, he does. But he likes to pick on your inferior mind. There are millions of examples of this. God brought rap to the masses. In heaven, rap is a form of torture that is used on demons. So, as a prank, he came to earth selling it on a street corner. Now its a pulp culture, and he laughs every time a new Eminem CD comes out, or every time a whigger walks down the street with their pants down to their asses. At one point God made a television show in which he taught children great ideals. He posed under a human name and led the show, but it never took off. Also, at one point, God became a vampire that didn't suck blood, but in fact sucked bubbles out of children's tubs. This was on a dare from Elvis Presley, but it led to trouble between him and Count Dracula. What, you haven't ever wondered why you never see or here Count Dracula anymore? To stir things up on earth, he even brought Malcolm X to the people. However, God was to lazy to go down himself, so he made a puppet that fell under the control of satin, that damn downer. His actions against the islamic community was the result of Satin's hand. Evil sonuva bitch. Despite it all, God had a hobby that started in the 20th century, and made less things happen to the poor people of earth. This was God's calling, this was God in all his glory, this was the chance for god to put himself to the test. This was the chance for god to make war instead of love. Biography of God's hobby Boredom engulfs god.... The twentieth century was a time of utter boredom for God. He sat back and watched the world go forth, but somehow none of it interested him. Suddenly, he found himself looking at Gotham City, a city destroying itself with a government run by the mafia. God used his heavenly powers to see the once bright cities future. Suddenly, he saw a bat. Before he could grab his insecticide to kill the bat, he realized it had been a vision. God saw that soon the man known as the Batman, also known as Bruce Wayne, would bring the city into a brighter future. Usually, god would just watch, but he'd been doing to much of that lately. Since the rest of the worlds heroes had powers of there own and could deal with villains without his help, he had come to watch them more often than not, which, for a short time, relieved his boredom. But the Batman only had the brains and brawn, no powers. So, God devised a plot. He'd go back a few years and reincarnate, join the tech area of Wayne Industries, and use his godly powers to create high tech weapons and vehicles for the batman. God knew this was his only chance to relieve himself of his boredom. Oh, and he could help fix up Gotham. But it was mostly a hobby to relieve his boredom. That was his main reason. So, God, creator of all life, became Lucius Fox, arms dealer to the batman. Creating the arsenal God, or, rather, Lucius Fox, wasted no time getting to work. He had a full twenty years until the young Bruce Wayne would return to Gotham to become the dark knight, and had little time to waist. Day and night, he created weapons, armor, and vehicles. While the batman liked to believe that his armor was high tech, bullet proof metals, in reality, it was a pure form of metal taken from the swords of angels, mixed with Gods very own metal Toilet. Yes, god had the most indestructible metals he could make imbued in his toilet for when he dropped his atomic bomb-like twosies. This, combined with the swords of angels, made the Batsuit and vehicles nearly indestructible. Next, Lucius began work on the Bats gadgets and gizmos. Most were a simple matter of getting high tech equipment that only the army (and god himself, of course) could ever get there hands on, updating them to there full potential, and batting them out a bit. Then, there was the Batarang. ]] The Batarang was hands down the second most enjoyable project that God worked on. It took him longer than any of the other gadgets, because he built it from scratch. First, he took the wings of one of his disloyal angels, and clipped it into the shape of a bat. Then, he took the toilet and sword metals, and imbued them with the wing, making a sleek black bat shaped piece of metal. After this, he took the horns of vanquished demons, purified them in a ceremony that involved an angels blood, a demons heart, and gods urine, then delved them into steaming black paint, and placed them on the front, back, and ends of the Batarang. Finally, he finished it off with a touch of his own spit, making it completely indestructible. Finally, the Batman's vehicles came into play. For those last ten years of all out work, god made all sorts of batmobiles, bouts, helicopters, and motorcycles. But, there was one batmobile that stood out above all the rest. .]] What he originally thought of was a batmobile that was more of a tank than the others. He began by taking the chariot Jesus had bought him for Easter that he hated because it was baby blue (God hates the color baby blue), and combined the magical item with the outline of a modern day tank. Then, he updated the metals, and began reshaping the wheels, until it looked largely like it does today. Then God went overboard. He started by adding the modern tank weapons system upgrades, then added several highly classified weapons from the pentagon, then even added some older weapons that had been highly updated by God himself. He gave the batmobile a stealth ability, which, by all outwards and inward looks, was a highly sophisticated stealth technology, but in fact was gods personal cloaking device for when he gets to tired of answering the prayers of the world and needs some alone time. All that was left was that final touch of Black paint. Before God could add it, however, he got word of Bruce's approach. Hiding every item that was obviously specifically built for the batman, Lucius began to play the character once again. Fear God's Wraith Bruce found Gods arsenal indeed to his liking. It took him little time to become the dark knight God had foreseen. God had begun work on several new items, but before he could put them into affect, he had been fired. God was overcome by a rage he had not felt since The age of the dinosaurs, but he wouldn't take it out on innocents. No, he had a plan for the CEO of Wayne Industries, Earle. But a more pressing matter was at hand. The Scarecrow and Ra's al Ghul were about to make the city go mad, and destroy itself from the inside. With a sigh derived from the tedious saving of innocents, God was left with no choice but to spawn an antidote. The Batman's first real challenge was at hand, and "Lucius" was interested to see his actions. As he suspected, the Batman handled it like a pro. But, there was another matter at hand for Bruce Wayne. He had to make a decision on Wayne Industries increasingly corrupt CEO. So, Bruce offered Lucius to take over. Although God was not interested in the least bit, he couldn't turn down the chance to fix the once noble company. So, he had one of his minion angels do it, while he kept up with the creation of the bats tech. But, that was for later. First, God had to invoke his wraith on Earle. First, just as he left Wayne Industries for the last time, he started up a nasty Thunder storm. Then, He used a bolt of lightning to blow up the former CEO's car. Earle decided to walk, but he should have known better in a place that hated his guts. God tailed Earle in the storm, whispering through the wind insults. Finally, he started to freak out, and ran into a nearby alley. God, in an act of ease, made the wind blow into the alley. God appeared in his mortal form, in a white suit. He said but one sentence, then disappeared into the night. The storm settled, and just as Earle thought he was safe, a single bolt of lightning struck him down. The Batpod Within a week or two after exacting his revenge, God received a vision of Gotham's future: a city of dull, drugged smiles, and a psychotic leader known as the Joker. in a vision]] God knew he had little time to get the equipment for Batman. He had a years time until the threat came to be. Within the first two weeks he had dragged out a few older pieces of tech he had made for the batman, then, out of ideas, reached into the future, to see the Batman riding up the Gotham City streets on an advanced version of the Batcycle he had built during the twenty years of tech work. God looked back at the Cycle he had made, too see a nasty blue looking bike. God was about to make a whole new bike, when he saw that his beloved Batmobile was going to be destroyed. So, God began to make a bike that had the components of the Batmobile that he made look like parts of the original, but were in fact all new. First, he took the components and painted them all jet black, then took the metal on the bike and counted it with the very same component god used to make water gleam in the sunlight. Then God altered the controls of it, spreading the bars farther and rounding them out so he could place weapons firing controls on them. God then took the largest bullets he could find and encased them with his own blood to make them more deadly than any weapon on earth. Finally, once he was near completion, he inserted the bike into the Batmobile and told Bruce it was an ejection bike. The Batpod was a huge hit, and, as God suspected, Batman managed to save Gotham City. What he hadn't expected, however, was the Bat's ability to think. Early on, God made a sonar frequency for Bruce so he could infiltrate a Chinese company and take their leader. Later, not long before the end of the conflict, Batman almost outwitted God himself. He managed to take the sonar frequency, and expand. Expand it to every phone in Gotham. God was genuinely surprised, for the first time in eons. Of course, he had thought about it somewhat, but couldn't figure out a way for it to help the Bat, and so had abandoned the idea. But the Dark Knight managed to use it as a high frequency generator. Unlike most Humans of the day, he was going to use it for good, so that he could track down the Joker. Hell, God suddenly realized, he himself would be tempted to look up woman's skirts and watch them undress, but Batman was above that. Even better, he had given the responsibility to Lucius. Who better could take care of such a machine. God trusted him, for he saw that he would destroy it after it was over, but he feigned worry, just to keep the bat on his toes. After the defeat of the Joker, God felt there was little else he could do for Gotham City or the Batman. So, God went back to the heavens, leaving his Lucius Fox persona to One of his angels until the Batman needed him once more. Category:Males category:Gods Category:Things never to be spoken of Category:UnDC Category:Things that made Bob Kane cry